She was asking for it

Posted on by Rachel A. Hanson

Over the last month or so I’ve been involved in preparations for V-Day Bloomington (TVM) 2013. I’m extremely excited about it! We’re going to be preforming “The Vagina Monologues” on March 28th, 29th, and 30th (you can get more information here).  But this post isn’t so much a shameless plug for our event (but if you’re in the Twin Cities you should totally come!) as it is an observation about how the phrase “she was asking for it” follows women throughout their lives.

This phrase is almost always used as a way to justify violence against women and girls. The wheels in my head have been spinning regarding this phrase for the last week or so when I overheard a conversation where two adults were talking about bullying in schools. They were talking about a young woman who was a victim of bullying and one adult said, “Well, she’s been so mean to everyone that she was just asking for this to happen.”

As I thought about this statement I realized that this phrase really follows us through our entire lives.

It becomes attached to you as a young girl who is putting up a tough front so that she doesn’t get hurt. Why is she putting up this front? Maybe it’s because of rumors being spread about you; maybe it’s because you don’t have the right clothes or makeup; maybe it’s because your home life is extremely hard.

It follows you as you struggle for your own independence. Walking home from yoga one cloudy afternoon and you are harassed on the street because you’re wearing yoga pants. Or maybe you’re going out one night and this happens to you.

You go to the grocery store and find yourself being harassed because you’re not smiling.

Maybe then you meet a nice guy with a good career and you decide to get married. Then the phrase morphs a little bit to “It takes two to make a fight.”

I say that it’s time to make a stand! It’s time to think about the phrases we use, both their words and when we use them. Why are you using the phrase “she was asking for it”? I have to say, my hope is that we never use this phrase or any other like it to explain away violence.

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Pro-Life and Pro-Choice: More subtlety is needed

Posted on by Rachel A. Hanson

Roughly a week ago I read an article on Jezebel titled “There Is No Such Things as a ‘Pro-Life Feminist.” 

I’m more than willing to admit that I had a slight beef with the title of the article and I had a rough time shaking that impression as I read the article. Truly, I wanted to throw that out there as a disclaimer as I talk about why I have a problem with this idea.

As a self-identified feminist, I have a difficult time with the labels “pro-choice” and “pro-life.” The reason I have difficulty with those labels is because I don’t understand why you can’t be both. To me these labels say that if you respect a woman’s right to choose (read: pro-choice) then you are effectively running around in the streets telling every woman you see that she should immediately get an abortion. On the flip side, if you identify yourself as “pro-life” you completely disregard free choice and the need for some women to get an abortion for a wide variety of reasons. 

Truthfully, I think these labels are much too limiting to people of intelligence (and I do like to count myself among those people). They aren’t subtle enough to convey the feelings many of us have regarding this issue. Yes, I respect the right of everyone to have freedom over their reproductive rights. However, I think it’s more important to focus on teaching everyone about the importance of taking their reproduction into their own hands. Using condoms, birth control pills, IUDs, implants, or whatever. It’s also important for those things to be readily available so that you are less likely to find yourself with an accidental pregnancy that needs to be ended. 

I believe that most people are “pro-life” in some sense. For me, I am happy to be alive! If you do not believe that anyone should have an abortion then you should label yourself “anti-choice” in this argument.

 

2012 in review

Posted on by Rachel A. Hanson

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,900 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 5 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

 

It has been quite a year! As the year ends I find myself evaluating my life, both from a professional standpoint and and personal one. While I’ll do a full post tomorrow on my own evaluation of the year I’ll post a few stats now.

- As I await my W-2′s for tax season I am reminded that this year I can expect to receive five W-2′s. I’ve had a total of seven jobs this year, four of which I still have.

- I’ve been patiently plugging away at “Paisley Tines: Grade Nine” and there are a total of 3,239 words in what I hope will be a 20,000 word novel. Clearly I still have a ways to go.

- I am hopeful that I will finish my book this year, potentially apply to graduate school, and go from four jobs to one job.

Have a happy and safe New Years Eve!

Comic Monday: The First Noel

Posted on by Rachel A. Hanson

This weeks comic commemorates one of my favorite childhood traditions, putting on the Christmas play.  My sister, M, and I started this tradition close to 20 years ago (that’s really hard for me to believe). In our first play I portrayed Joseph and my “robe” was an old t-shirt that belonged to my dad.  It had a rainbow question mark on the front and we made up some relatively ridiculous dialogue and ended with a song.  And while I recognize that many of you may not celebrate Christmas I feel deeply that I should share this part of myself.

With that said, I hope you will enjoy The First Noel.

Comic Monday: Happy Anniversary!

Posted on by Rachel A. Hanson

Today is me and Nathan’s second anniversary! And overall I will say it’s been the best second anniversary that I’ve ever had (okay, it’s also the only second anniversary that I’ve ever had.)  In honor of our anniversary I decided to write a comic illustrating a pattern that has emerged over the last three December 17th that we have experienced together.

I hope you enjoy Second Anniversary!

Comic Monday: Faith Not Fear

Posted on by Rachel A. Hanson

It’s good to be back on the bandwagon with Comic Monday! This weeks comic is slightly more serious in that it briefly discusses the impending “fiscal cliff.” But hopefully this will help you to cheer up about it a little bit.

The other thing I wanted to address with this comic is the way I look at the world. While my religious upbringing shapes the way I see the world I rarely discuss it on here. I am hesitant to alienate anyone or risk seeming like a complete “nut job.” But the fact of the matter is, Christian religious texts have played a deep role in making me the person I am today. And as I like the person I am today I owe the lessons I learned from these texts a huge debt of gratitude.

And so, without further ado I would like to introduce “Faith Not Fear.”

Thoughts are falling all around

Posted on by Rachel A. Hanson

Ever since I woke up this morning I’ve had a burning desire to blog. But what to blog about? I decided to think about it today and write this evening before I start a comic (somehow I also need to figure out how to draw a little girl bouncing up and down on the abdomen of an adult). Alas, although I have been up since 6:30 am and it is now 8:15 pm I have no idea what I want to write about.  No burning issues I want to give an opinion on. No deep philosophical thoughts that have come to me in the last several days. Indeed, the only exciting thing to happen to me is that my good friend is coming to visit over the weekend and we’re going out clubbing! The planning has been super exciting :D .

With that, I have decided to write briefly about judging. Often I find that if I have a topic in mind I can just write and my thoughts are formulated in that way. 

Throughout my life I thought I understood how challenging it is to be the sole caretaker of small children throughout the day. Indeed, as the oldest of six children I thought I had a very good grasp on this concept. And yet, it has always been slightly baffling to me how often stay-at-home parents never manage to get out of their PJ’s, have a shower, and maybe get into some “regular” clothes. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, I just also know that I feel MILES better if I can do those things, even if I’m going to be home all day. 

In my unconscious mind (where, this is all really taking place, I’m just pulling it to the forefront) I gave some slack to parents whose children did not sleep through the night. Seriously, it’s almost impossible for the non-parents among us to actually clean ourselves up when we’re sleep deprived. It’s just too much work.

However, as I drove home today from watching A & E I thought to myself, “Man, I am so tired!” And yet, I slept through the night, had excellent meals, and was adequately caffeinated. What’s worse, when I walked into my apartment I caught a whiff of myself. The faint scent of baby formula (E still drinks it sometimes), new diapers, old diapers, wipes, Desatin, peanut butter, and exhaustion (yes, it has a smell) reached my nostrils. It was then that it hit me. If I was at home with my two young children and I was covered in drool (really, it’s inevitable) with Spaghetti-o sauce, butt cream, and play dough on my pants why would I go to the effort? Even in the 1950′s when June Cleaver with her beautiful pearls was the cultural ideal there were women few and far between that looked like that. 

And so, while this is nothing new to most of you (and really, nothing new to me, just articulated in a slightly different way) I’m glad to have said it. I hope you can remember this the next time you see an exhausted parent pushing their way through the local Target with a screaming child. As with adults, children have minds of their own and it takes a lot of energy to teach them right and wrong. There just isn’t a lot left over for wearing something other than yoga pants.