Over the last month or so I’ve been involved in preparations for V-Day Bloomington (TVM) 2013. I’m extremely excited about it! We’re going to be preforming “The Vagina Monologues” on March 28th, 29th, and 30th (you can get more information here). But this post isn’t so much a shameless plug for our event (but if you’re in the Twin Cities you should totally come!) as it is an observation about how the phrase “she was asking for it” follows women throughout their lives.
This phrase is almost always used as a way to justify violence against women and girls. The wheels in my head have been spinning regarding this phrase for the last week or so when I overheard a conversation where two adults were talking about bullying in schools. They were talking about a young woman who was a victim of bullying and one adult said, “Well, she’s been so mean to everyone that she was just asking for this to happen.”
As I thought about this statement I realized that this phrase really follows us through our entire lives.
It becomes attached to you as a young girl who is putting up a tough front so that she doesn’t get hurt. Why is she putting up this front? Maybe it’s because of rumors being spread about you; maybe it’s because you don’t have the right clothes or makeup; maybe it’s because your home life is extremely hard.
It follows you as you struggle for your own independence. Walking home from yoga one cloudy afternoon and you are harassed on the street because you’re wearing yoga pants. Or maybe you’re going out one night and this happens to you.
You go to the grocery store and find yourself being harassed because you’re not smiling.
Maybe then you meet a nice guy with a good career and you decide to get married. Then the phrase morphs a little bit to “It takes two to make a fight.”
I say that it’s time to make a stand! It’s time to think about the phrases we use, both their words and when we use them. Why are you using the phrase “she was asking for it”? I have to say, my hope is that we never use this phrase or any other like it to explain away violence.
Roughly a week ago I read an article on Jezebel titled “There Is No Such Things as a ‘Pro-Life Feminist.”
I’m more than willing to admit that I had a slight beef with the title of the article and I had a rough time shaking that impression as I read the article. Truly, I wanted to throw that out there as a disclaimer as I talk about why I have a problem with this idea.
As a self-identified feminist, I have a difficult time with the labels “pro-choice” and “pro-life.” The reason I have difficulty with those labels is because I don’t understand why you can’t be both. To me these labels say that if you respect a woman’s right to choose (read: pro-choice) then you are effectively running around in the streets telling every woman you see that she should immediately get an abortion. On the flip side, if you identify yourself as “pro-life” you completely disregard free choice and the need for some women to get an abortion for a wide variety of reasons.
Truthfully, I think these labels are much too limiting to people of intelligence (and I do like to count myself among those people). They aren’t subtle enough to convey the feelings many of us have regarding this issue. Yes, I respect the right of everyone to have freedom over their reproductive rights. However, I think it’s more important to focus on teaching everyone about the importance of taking their reproduction into their own hands. Using condoms, birth control pills, IUDs, implants, or whatever. It’s also important for those things to be readily available so that you are less likely to find yourself with an accidental pregnancy that needs to be ended.
I believe that most people are “pro-life” in some sense. For me, I am happy to be alive! If you do not believe that anyone should have an abortion then you should label yourself “anti-choice” in this argument.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,900 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 5 years to get that many views.
Click here to see the complete report.
It has been quite a year! As the year ends I find myself evaluating my life, both from a professional standpoint and and personal one. While I’ll do a full post tomorrow on my own evaluation of the year I’ll post a few stats now.
- As I await my W-2′s for tax season I am reminded that this year I can expect to receive five W-2′s. I’ve had a total of seven jobs this year, four of which I still have.
- I’ve been patiently plugging away at “Paisley Tines: Grade Nine” and there are a total of 3,239 words in what I hope will be a 20,000 word novel. Clearly I still have a ways to go.
- I am hopeful that I will finish my book this year, potentially apply to graduate school, and go from four jobs to one job.
Have a happy and safe New Years Eve!
This weeks comic commemorates one of my favorite childhood traditions, putting on the Christmas play. My sister, M, and I started this tradition close to 20 years ago (that’s really hard for me to believe). In our first play I portrayed Joseph and my “robe” was an old t-shirt that belonged to my dad. It had a rainbow question mark on the front and we made up some relatively ridiculous dialogue and ended with a song. And while I recognize that many of you may not celebrate Christmas I feel deeply that I should share this part of myself.
With that said, I hope you will enjoy The First Noel.
Today is me and Nathan’s second anniversary! And overall I will say it’s been the best second anniversary that I’ve ever had (okay, it’s also the only second anniversary that I’ve ever had.) In honor of our anniversary I decided to write a comic illustrating a pattern that has emerged over the last three December 17th that we have experienced together.
I hope you enjoy Second Anniversary!